Saturday, September 17, 2005

Are you my Mommy?

As daddy has mentioned, we're starting to see the light at the end of the "what the he** do we DO with this kid" blues. It's getting slightly more .............. well, easier ain't exactly the right term. We're just getting used to it all. And yes, last night, the girl slept 7 hours!!! I only slept 4, since I woke up at 5 in anticipation of her waking. Really pathetic.

My biggest issue right now is the waiting. I hate to be always looking ahead (when will she sleep thru the night? When will she hold her head up? When will she get a job?), but I'm eagerly awaiting some things. For instance, when will it click in her little head that I'm actually her momma? Not the name or title, really, just the meaning- I'm not going away.

The truth is, I'm waiting for one thing. The moment when, as she's attached to my breast and literally sucking the life out of me, that she looks up into my eyes and stares deeply. At that precious moment, my girl and I will click - there will be a bonding that will last forever. Right now, she stays pretty much in deep thought (oooh, is that a light fixture I see?). Not that we haven't bonded at all, we seem to have a certain understanding; I am here to serve her, and she must endure my terrible singing of "good morning" songs. It's a system. But we haven't had THE moment - I don't think. OR, maybe I was too sleepy to notice it. I'm too sleepy to notice a lot of things, now. Like, when did Dr. Phil move to CBS? And is that Martha Stewart, back on daytime TV? Without an ankle monitor?!

I will say that all is not bleak on this front. I do have, I believe, a certain standing in her world. As her resident slave and minion, I have managed to gain a certain familiarity that only a house servant can attain. I feed her, clean her, and generally exist to amuse her. And for this amazing job, I do get my few pieces of gold. For all of the work I do, I am, occasionally, awarded with a gift. Here is the latest:

1 Comments:

Blogger Val said...

Love you blog!
I didn't know you had started one!
I linked it in mine so I can visit sometimes!
She is SO cute Darrien, there is NO words!
Val (Cosmogirl in CC)

October 09, 2005 4:29 PM  

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